Assalamualaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh
It's been awhile, hasn't it ? I have been sick and busy and the holidays were around so, it meant more family time and less social network for me. Also, yes.... I'm going through that no mojo phase again where I have no idea what to blog about. SPM is so close, it's so scary. That is also why I haven't been on my blog, for awhile. Duty calls, sigh. Good news, I have just the perfect thing I want to write about today.
Couple of days ago, I was bowing down on the prayer mat performing my Asar prayer when I suddenly felt so content. Content with everything I had, content with my perfect physical features, content with having a lovely family, content with being able to wake up every morning and be grateful I'm a Muslim. Just content. I didn't know what it was I was feeling at that time but it felt, right and good. It was such an overwhelming feeling that I can't even remember the last time I felt that way. I got up from my position and gave my salam. At that particular moment, I quietly thanked God for everything and asked for forgiveness for the times I forgot to be grateful. I felt so sad how I never realized how much of a blessing it was being able to wake up every morning and breathe the morning air. I tried to imagine waking up not being Muslim but I couldn't... Then, I realized it was because I didn't want to. I didn't want to wake up and not be a Muslim because being Muslim is the greatest part about me. I'm not the best Muslim but I try. I try and try to be better everyday. I sin but I'm not a devil, I do good but I'm definitely no angel. If I wasn't a Muslim, I probably would never look into Islam and I would never know how beautiful this religion really is. No matter how much I stray away and I forget Allah, everyday He tries to remind me and pull me back. I don't always pray on time, I don't run away from sinning, I (Astaghfirullah, may Allah keep us away from this) sometimes talk bad about people, I sometimes forget to read the Quran, I'm not always as patient as I am on my good days, I (may Allah forgive me) sometimes raise my voice to my parents when I'm angry, I sin everyday, it's only a matter of whether I notice them or not. But no matter how many times I sin, He promises to forgive us every time we repent. MasyaaAllah, how forgiving He is when He doesn't owe us anything at all but He still waits for us to repent when we, who owe Him everything always forget to repent and be grateful. May Allah always open our hearts to repent and be grateful for all that we have.