Thursday, 24 October 2013

moment of appreciation

Assalamualaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh

Been wanting to update my blog like weeks ago but never finding the perfect time because I've been so busy studying pffft for final examination (and can I please remind myself that it is in a few days!!), family time, friends & someone.... I haven't even had the chance to have some me time ! Okay, so, I'm having some me time now thanks to the MC Dr Adnan gave to me, may Allah bless you for the great job you do keeping people healthy ! The MC is for this terrible backache I'm having now :( Mhmm... time of the month :( This backache just gave me something great to blog about hehehehe

This backache has brought me to a realization that mothers, especially pregnant ones are amaaaaazing ! Backaches are no joke okay they are so painful so so so PAINFUL. I left school early yesterday because I couldn't take walking with the terrible backache. When I came home, I manja with mum then took a nap...... for like 5 hours bahahahaha. The backache lasted the whole day ! Who am I kidding.. It's still here. The most famous line I've been saying is, "I feel like a pregnant lady!". Men ; will never understand the pain of period cramps !! But nevertheless, I'm grateful I'm a woman, Alhamdulillah.

Mum, thank you for going through all the fuss of carrying me in your little womb for 9 months. I never really thought of how tough it was (I mean I know it's not easy) but this backache made me realize that yes, it was so freaking tough. I cannot imagine the sleepless nights due to backache, me moving non stop and I cannot imagine the torture when I was born haha the nights I'd cry from 12 am straight up to Subuh ! Mum, you really are a superwoman. Thanks for being my superwoman <3 To my step Dad, thanks for being the greatest Dad in the world. A lucky girl, I am. I appreciate the bond I have with both of you. Thanks for being the greatest parents and bestfriend to me. Even when I'm married, I don't ever want to stop being your baby girl. I'll be that one child who just sticks around for a very long time until both of you get annoyed hehe. I love you.

Appreciate your parents while they're still around. Allah SWT is only lending them to you and He can take them back anytime. Apologize to them while you still can, hug them, bond with them, appreciate the time you have with them and most importantly, love them with all that you've got. Now go give your parents a big hug and some sloppy kisses !

P/S ; Yes, annoying siblings. I love all of you too. Amalin is MIA. Again sigh. Boarding school must suck huh because you keep missing out on family events !

Friday, 11 October 2013

dream come true trip

Assalamualaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh

I realize that I haven't updated much in September but it's not because I didn't have anything to blog about but I've been too busy with everything else in my life. 

Wow. October already, can you believe it ?

The other day, me and my friends were talking about some people who update their blog daily. Writing about their family, vacations and such. I have nothing against people who update their blog about their personal life and yes, I would looooove to update my blog daily but you will most probably read about me and my friends enjoying food in class EVERYDAY haha. Since I'm still in school, my life would mean I'll be in school most of the day pfftttt who would want to read about that ? I've bore myself just thinking about it haha but maybe, someday, insyaaAllah when I'm already in university or working or whatever, I'll make it a habit to update my blog more than once or twice or three times a month. Aaaaaand guess what I'm going to blog about today ?!!!???! :D

Ah, yes. I have finally decided it's time I share the experience I had on the holy land. I know that most of you have requested it for months now but I had no mojo (Allah bless you, Lisa for always saying mojo everytime you had no idea what to write for our English essays) and I hope whatever I'm about to say will level up the amount of time you pray to Allah SWT asking Him to quickly invite you over so you can feel how happyexcitedterrificincredibleamazingblessedandmanymoreemotionsthatIcan'tthinkof I was when I went hehe. Yes, the whole emotions thing was meant to be in one long sentence without any spaces in between because I said it in speed motion in my mind.

You know how you have to have Visa to go to Mekah ? Scratch that you have to have Visa to go anywhere haha but then you have that special Visa or something to go for Umrah. Well, that was the first time Allah SWT decided to test me. When Mum & Dad applied for Visa, I didn't think it would be such a big deal, I mean it was just Visa ?? BUT me, Rayyan and Danish's Visa(s) couldn't go through because we were using my step dad as our mahram and although my step dad is already counted as my mahram in Islam, the Saudi Arabia wouldn't allow it. Mum said if our Visas didn't go through even after applying again (this time with a letter from my real dad allowing us to go to Mekah with my Mum and step dad), we would have to stay in Jordan for three weeks. I was devastated. A few weeks later, Mum told us that Rayyan and Danish's Visa(s) was done but........ mine still couldn't go through. Haihhhh. We were just days away from our trip to Madinah and still my Visa wasn't ready. To make things worse, I was going through my time of the month so I couldn't actually pray. I only had hopes that Allah SWT would listen (He was listening, of course. Always listening) to my tiny whines and how much my heart kept saying "Ya Allah, please please please. I want this more than anything pleaseeee". That night I cried thinking Allah SWT wasn't ready to invited me to his home just yet.

Two days away from the Umrah trip, my siblings and I went out for a movie. In the cinema, Mum called and shouted "KAKAK YOU GOT YOUR VISA ALREADY !!!!". I swear I think I screamed without realizing I was in a cinema. Oh you have no idea what I felt at that moment. "Alhamdulillah ! Alhamdulillah, ya Allah" I whispered to Mum on the phone. So the very night I went back home, put in ONE jubah, a scarf, a Quran and my kain telekung in my suitcase and yes, I was ready to go. Only one extra jubah in my suitcase now explains the gazillion amount of jubah Mum and Dad got me at Madinah.


So, we took a bus from Jeddah to Madinah and I think it was a 6/7 or even possibly 9 hour trip ? I can't really recall but I had my family friends, Syaza and Sara with me in the bus so we put on our headphones and pretty much did our thing. The flight from Singopore to Jeddah was already tiring so, really I couldn't afford anymore talking. We arrived Madinah just in time for Subuh so, Ami Yahya checked us in the Royal Andalus, the hotel we stayed in at Madinah we did a little unpacking, made wudhu' and left for prayers. Me and Syaza prayed side by side while Sara and Farrah went MIA. Ya Allah, I cannot explain in words what it was like praying in a surrounding where people were racing and literally fighting to get in the Masjid Nabawi (our Prophet's PBUH masjid). All shops just close up or shop owners just leave and quickly ran to pray whatever prayer we were suppose to at that time. Other than sightseeing, we probably ate most of the time and Ya Allah, I have totally miscounted how many times we visited Bin Dawood a day ! (and can I just please say how amazingly huge that grocery MALL is !) We also had a chance to visit Masjid Quba' and pray Dhuha then of course, being tourists we also took a few selfies in front of the masjid. In Madinah, one of the places that you shouldn't miss out on visiting is Rawdah (it holds the tomb of Nabi Muhammad SAW). I cannot even start to describe how tough it was getting into Rawdah. Ya Allah, so many people were fighting to pray in Rawdah but Alhamdulillah, me, Mum, Syaza, Sara and Nadiah were able to pray at the front row in Rawdah. The most unforgettable memory was how many times me, Syaza, Sara and Farrah went back and forth to Bin Dawood to get sweets and hand it to the kids who were homeless. Alhamdulillah for the home and fortunate family Allah SWT provided us with, so stop complaining about your life people !!!!


Readers, please put your hands together for a duaa. "Ya Allah, ya Tuhanku, please give me a chance to visit your holy land. Let me feel the peace other people have felt when they visited your home. Please let me be one of those lucky people who get to pray in front of your Kaabah, ya Allah. Rabbana atina fiddunya hasanah wafil akhirati hasanah wakina 'adhabannar. Amin amin ya rabbal alamin". There, you've just made a prayer to Allah SWT and insyaaAllah  he heard you. Have faith, OF COURSE HE HEARD YOU ! Mekah. My favourite place in the world. No words can describe how amazing the land itself is. The moment I got down the bus when my feet stepped the ground of Mekah Al-Mukarramah, I wanted to cry. I wanted to cry and just sit down on the ground letting out all my grateful feelings I had rushing in my very soul (but of course, I didn't do so haha who are we kidding thousands of people were walking around, they might even step on me!!) but yes, that was how I felt when I first stepped in Mekah. So we checked in and stuff then it was prayer time. Maghrib if I'm not mistaken and we were late so I had to pray outside the Masjidil Haram :( but it was amazing seeing over a million people all praying together ! When it was Isya' time, me, Syaza, Sara and Farrah went into Masjidil Haram and found an air-conditioned peaceful spot filled with mums and their kids ! (place where we prayed everyday). Oh, the feeling I had when I was doing my umrah. A thousand emotions, I can never explain. I looked at the Kaabah and how grateful I was to be born a Muslim, how fortunate I was to be chosen to see Kaabah in front of my very eyes. I prayed at the same spot everyday in front of the Kaabah so now I know exactly where to imagine the Kaabah is when I'm praying at home hehe. During Sa'i, I finally learned how tiring it was for Siti Hajar PBUH (Nabi Ismail's mother) to go back and forth Bukit Safa and Marwah to find water for her and her son. May Allah SWT bless her kind soul. So many homeless families and looking at the people work so hard to find halal money to support their family is just so painful because I sometimes forget how fortunate I am. May Allah SWT have mercy on them and provide them with whatever they need. What my cousins and I did most of the times were practically giving away the too much food we had or extra change in our pockets. Trust me, if you were in our shoes, you'd do the same thing.

What I'm about to share is really personal so I hope it comes out right.... hahaha. Four days in Mekah, we were at our hotel surau casually spending our free time reading the Quran then I felt this sadness but I couldn't really explain why. So, I just looked at the Quran wondering what in the world is wrong with me. Then, it just hit me like "have you been grateful enough to Allah SWT ? have you thanked Him for today ? Did you ask for His forgiveness for the sins you have committed in the past ? Have you thought of the gazillion things He has given you yet you still disobey Him sometimes ?" So, the tears started streaming down my face. I felt so ashamed to Allah SWT. After so many sins, so many wrongdoings and still, He never stopped giving. He kept giving and giving to the point where, there was nothing less in my life. I cried because I felt so much shame of how I sometimes forget to thank Allah SWT. I just sat there and cried my eye balls out. That was the day I realized that whatever I do, think, say, decide, Allah SWT first. If it makes Him happy then yes, if it makes Him upset then no. I hope that whenever you are going to do something, wherever you go in life, you think of Allah SWT so it will insyaaAllah make you a better person in the near future.