Thursday, 30 October 2014

close to freedom

Assalamualaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh 

Aaaaah, how much I miss blogging ! I've been so stressed out lately because I'm so scared and anxious of what's to come that I totally forgot I release stress best when I write. Today is my last day of high school.. Ever. I can't believe it's been 5 crazy years, it's so overwhelming to think about. Since I will be sitting for SPM in a couple of days, there are some things I'd like to say. 

First and far most, forgive me if I have ever said or done anything to hurt any of you whether intentionally or not. I am so sorry if there are times I don't reply to your comments, or when I do reply, I say the wrong things. The people that read my blog are the reason I try my level best to help people be better in one way or another. Although, you guys actually have no idea how much you guys make me a better person. Thank you so much for the support you've given me. I am just 17 and there are a lot of things that I still have to learn so, I hope you guys stay throughout the journey. To all the 97s that are sitting for SPM this Monday, I pray from the bottom of my heart that Allah will help you and be with you throughout it all. I hope He grants you nothing less than straight As to make your parents proud, Allahumma Aamiin. InsyaaAllah all those nights you stayed up studying will pay off. I hope you keep me in your prayers as I will, insyaaAllah keep you in mine. 





Wednesday, 24 September 2014

being grateful

Assalamualaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh

It's been awhile, hasn't it ? I have been sick and busy and the holidays were around so, it meant more family time and less social network for me. Also, yes.... I'm going through that no mojo phase again where I have no idea what to blog about. SPM is so close, it's so scary. That is also why I haven't been on my blog, for awhile. Duty calls, sigh. Good news, I have just the perfect thing I want to write about today. 


Being Grateful

Couple of days ago, I was bowing down on the prayer mat performing my Asar prayer when I suddenly felt so content. Content with everything I had, content with my perfect physical features, content with having a lovely family, content with being able to wake up every morning and be grateful I'm a Muslim. Just content. I didn't know what it was I was feeling at that time but it felt, right and good. It was such an overwhelming feeling that I can't even remember the last time I felt that way. I got up from my position and gave my salam. At that particular moment, I quietly thanked God for everything and asked for forgiveness for the times I forgot to be grateful. I felt so sad how I never realized how much of a blessing it was being able to wake up every morning and breathe the morning air. I tried to imagine waking up not being Muslim but I couldn't... Then, I realized it was because I didn't want to. I didn't want to wake up and not be a Muslim because being Muslim is the greatest part about me. I'm not the best Muslim but I try. I try and try to be better everyday. I sin but I'm not a devil, I do good but I'm definitely no angel. If I wasn't a Muslim, I probably would never look into Islam and I would never know how beautiful this religion really is. No matter how much I stray away and I forget Allah, everyday He tries to remind me and pull me back. I don't always pray on time, I don't run away from sinning, I (Astaghfirullah, may Allah keep us away from this) sometimes talk bad about people, I sometimes forget to read the Quran, I'm not always as patient as I am on my good days, I (may Allah forgive me) sometimes raise my voice to my parents when I'm angry, I sin everyday, it's only a matter of whether I notice them or not. But no matter how many times I sin, He promises to forgive us every time we repent. MasyaaAllah, how forgiving He is when He doesn't owe us anything at all but He still waits for us to repent when we, who owe Him everything always forget to repent and be grateful. May Allah always open our hearts to repent and be grateful for all that we have. 




Tuesday, 19 August 2014

back to basics

Assalamualaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh ! 

Aaah, it feels so good to type in the familiar box again. Noticed the exclamation mark next to my salam ? Yup, excitement right there. Trails just ended and boy, am I glad it's over ! I missed my blog sooo much but I had to restrain myself so I don't end up ranting here instead of digging my face in my books haha. If any of you follow me on Twitter, for the next 3 months if you see me replying to people and retweeting stuff for too long by all means, tweet me and tell me to shove my face back in my books. Thanks haha. 

So, during my trials it was back to staying up and always having a book with me but in the midst of reading my agama notes, I came across a topic I would really like to talk write about because I felt like it gave me a smack right in the face.

The Holy Quran

We had this one topic that we learned about the greatness of the Holy Quran. It told us the history of how the Quran was being passed down to human beings and stuff. We were taught that the Quran was sometimes revealed like the ringing of a bell only heard by the Prophet PBUH, was thrown into the Prophet's PBUH heart and also through a dream. The Quran became our guidance and the source of our ancestors' knowledge in the early years ever since it was passed down to us. 


"If We had sent down this Qur'an upon a mountain, you would have seen it humbled and coming apart from fear of Allah . And these examples We present to the people that perhaps they will give thought."  Quran (59:21)

The responsibility of the learning the amazing ayahs of the Quran was so big that if it was sent to other living things, they won't be able to take that big of a responsibility. Only human beings were able to do so. The ayah also teaches us that we have to ponder upon the greatness of the Quran and how far we'd go to learn and understand the Quran. Then, it hit me. All the days I put the worldly things before spending a minute or two reading the Quran, suddenly didn't seem so worth it anymore. I even started to remember how it felt like when every time I was sad or I needed guidance, I read the Quran. I felt like the emptiness in my chest was filled with all these wonderful feeling of worship and gratitude. I also remembered how much I liked that feeling. So, I'm back to my "Quran time" every night after Isya' or before Maghrib. Been missing out for quite awhile, sigh. Alhamdulillah, I lived to see another day and was given the chance appreciate more things in life.



Sunday, 3 August 2014

for you, palestine.

Assalamualaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh 

Yesterday, I got the chance to experience what a rally was like but this rally, came with a good cause. Alhamdulillah, it opened my eyes even more to things that was happening in the world. Viva Palestina Malaysia together with Aqsa Syarif held a peaceful rally at Dataran Merdeka in support of Palestinians. 

It was such a beautiful view, to see people despite of race and religion come together showing the face of humanity. I cannot think of a better way to have spent my Saturday. We chanted freedom for Palestine, freedom for the children throughout the whole hour. There was a flash mob and people weren't even bothered by the hot weather, masyaaAllah, bless your good souls. 

I can no longer express my anger and sadness for Palestine anymore. It has come to a point where the red line has been crossed and from war, it has turned into genocide. It feels like there is no more hope in humanity. Until yesterday. When I saw almost 50 000 people protesting and standing up for Palestine, I knew that no matter how dark the journey gets, we will always find a light, insyaaAllah. I am now convinced that no matter how small and weak we may seem compared to Israel, we will not let Palestine die without a fight. I will try my level best to keep on raising awareness and educating people on what is really happening in their land. Palestine's land, not Israel's. Even if takes hundreds of rallies to attend to alert the world on what is happening then be it, hundreds of rallies I will show up to. I will stand strong with Palestine and I, not just as Muslim, as a human, will not let them die without a fight. 












Friday, 25 July 2014

ignorance is not bliss

Assalamualaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh 

I got stuck in the hospital for like a week and couldn't fast for so long because of dengue, I started regretting the days I took my healthy body for granted. In all seriousness though, all I really did was sleep and I did a lot of thinking about a lot of things but on top of my list is the war that is going on. One day, I woke up from my sleep and the top tweet on my Twitter was a picture of a father crying beside his daughters' bodies. His daughters being covered in blood and some gun shots. My heart shattered into pieces. 

How could someone be so inhumane ? How could someone point a sniper at innocent children and pull the trigger ? How could someone ignore the terrified look in the people's eyes before they shoot ? How could someone go to sleep at night knowing they killed a family, probably hundreds a day ? How could someone look at a little girl they're about to shoot and not think about their daughters, nieces ? 

Infinite questions lingering in thin air, yet nobody has the answers. I don't have much to offer to the people suffering but I can offer you my prayers so that Allah SWT keeps you safe and grants you Jannah for your bravery in standing up for our religion. Allah SWT is testing them with such a big test in this holy month but they're still standing strong and I hope the world is standing with them. My heart breaks for the people but I will always, with all my imaan- always pray for you. 




Sunday, 6 July 2014

Ramadhan thoughts

Assalamualaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh

A week in Ramadhan and Alhamdulillah, so far so good ! What about you guys ? I hope you have started on that checklist because it helps a lot. I'm trying to complete everything on the checklist but I'm still a few deeds short, insyaaAllah soon !

I've been listening to Sheikh Mishary a lot lately because somehow, I really miss Mekah. I haven't had the chance to experience Ramadhan in Mekah yet, but I can feel it in my bones that it would be amazing. I miss the surrounding of smiling people, the sight of the Kaabah everyday, the sight of people reading the Quran and doing zikr literally all the time, the sight of people rushing to the masjid to get there in time to join the jemaah, I just miss everything there. I forget to worry about the petty worldly things there, I guess that's the beauty of being in a place that reminds you so much of how beautiful your religion is. It reminds me of how I haven't been grateful about being a Muslim. I am so lucky to be able to experience and learn about the beauty of Islam. I am so lucky Allah SWT made Islam put women so high but men still get equality. I am so lucky Allah SWT made Islam restrict food and drinks that are bad for my health. I am so lucky Allah SWT made Islam, a religion that practices both the temporary and permanent world. I am so lucky to be given the chance to be a Muslim and everyday, I am grateful for that. I hope that the All Mighty forgives me if there is ever a time that I am ungrateful for that. This holy month has got me thinking and reflecting about a lot of things, Alhamdulillah. 3 more weeks to go, hope you all have been doing nothing but good deeds this month !

missing Mekah :(



Sunday, 29 June 2014

Ramadhan, welcome back !

Assalamualaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh

Alhamdulillah, we get to experience another month full of mercy, gratitude, kindness and love. I cannot believe how fast time is flying. I don't know if you guys notice but I say this in almost all of my posts haha because it's true ! One minute, it's only the beginning of the year and the next, we're already fasting for Ramadhan ! This year, I'm even more excited than usual. I have all these things I'm planning to do and I have a checklist I got from Twitter too ! Tahajjud, be kind, no backbiting, sharing my Iftar, making my parents smile, tell my parents I love them and so much more. I've put my mind into it so now, I'm hoping to achieve it. 

print 4 of these to cover the whole month of Ramadhan
and start ticking on your good deeds !

Before I forget, I seek forgiveness to those who I have wronged before and I hope that this holy month can be a new start for us. To those that I may or may not have hurt with either my words or actions, forgive me. Forgive me if I have responded rudely, not responded at all or anything that might have hurt you in anyway. Most importantly, I hope we all learn to forgive ourselves. Forgiveness from others and forgiveness from the All Mighty is granted, important but we also need to forgiveness from within. We all have done things that we regret so, don't beat yourself up. There's always time to improve and for as long as you live, you will always improve, insyaaAllah. Ramadhan has always been the month that I look forward to because I see all different kinds of people trying to change themselves for the better. Even if people call you "Ramadhan Muslim", so what ? Today, you may be a Ramadhan Muslim but who knows, tomorrow you will be a full time Mukmin ? Have faith in yourself and have faith in Allah SWT. Ramadhan Mubarak, my dear sisters & brothers !